I'm thrilled to announce a new blog series featuring relationship advice from couples who have been married for 10 years or more! How to Stay Married 10 Years and Then Some is the brainchild of my awesome husband, Manuel P. Santos, M.D., who has counseled many couples in his therapy practice. Several people have already signed up to share their wisdom and their stories about finding a spouse, navigating the newlywed years, and venturing into parenthood.
Posts from this great series will appear once a month, starting this July. Anyone married 10 years or more can be a guest poster, so please volunteer! All you have to do is send me a family pic and the answers to these six questions:
1. How many years have you been married and how many kids do you have?
2. Name 3 things that have helped you to stay married this long.
3. What role has your faith played in your marriage?
4. What advice would you give people who are dating and considering marriage?
5. What advice would you give newlyweds?
6. What advice would you give new parents or couples who are trying to have children?
If you're interested, just respond in the comments below or email me at santoskaree@gmail.com. And enjoy the series!
Photo Credit: annstheclaf via Compfight cc
1. How many years have you been married and how many kids do you have?
ReplyDelete23.5 yrs, 3 children
2. Name 3 things that have helped you to stay married this long.
Family prayer, Family Crises, Being faithful to each other.
3. What role has your faith played in your marriage?
HUGE! I cannot say for certain that we'd still be together if it had not been for our strong and deep-rooted Catholic faith.
4. What advice would you give people who are dating and considering marriage?
Save your first kiss for the altar after the priest has pronounced you man and wife.
Save your virginity to give to your spouse as a wedding gift on your wedding night.
Practicing self-control before marriage will go a long way in warding off temptations of infidelity after marriage.
Fast regularly - this is a great way to strength your self-control as well - try meatless Fridays!
Attend daily mass and go to confession at least once a month.
Skip the inappropriate bachelor (or bachelorette) party - you should be in a state of grace before you receive communion at every mass and this goes for your Wedding Mass too!
5. What advice would you give newlyweds?
Say the rosary together every night before you go to bed.
Be open to the gift of life. Any kind of contraception will ultimately destroy your marriage to some degree, if not completely.
Take very good care of your parents as well as immediate relatives on both sides of the family. Share your talents and gifts with your parish.
Fast regularly - this is a great way to strength your self-control - try meatless Fridays!
Attend daily mass and go to confession at least once a month.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire! Be loving and kind to each other in both demeanor and words. Take care never to use foul language. There is a "clean" way to express every emotion, including anger!
Practice good discipline (internet time, TV time, bed-time, spending habits, etc.) so it will be easy when the kids come along. This will also set a good example for your children.
Don't have separate accounts.
Help each other every step of the way and be there for one another at all times.
6. What advice would you give new parents or couples who are trying to have children?
See all of the above in Q#5
Seek out a Catholic, pro-life OBGYN
Children are a gift from God. They are made in your image and likeness. However, they belong to God, who has merely entrusted them in your care while they are on their earthly journey. Be prepared to deliver on this huge responsibility.... we are all called to be saints, so make sure your lifestyle and the environment you provide in your home will enable your children to grow spiritually and to become saints. Successful parenting equates to successfully ensuring that your children's souls return to their heavenly maker.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful and complete answer! You signed in as anonymous and it would be great to know your name. I hope you'll feel comfortable letting us know!
DeleteSunita Kotttoor... Thanks for all the work you do, Karee.... I thought you might have recognized me from the previous time I responded to you.... :)
DeleteSorry for not recognizing you. Thanks so much for contributing!
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